An, Ann 'n Anny's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo
by lolzwaitwhat
Summary: This is the longest episode I've ever done, I'll start with my short intro into this one then put up the rest of it as I go. I'm sorry again that I didn't put this up on Valentine's day, but hey, better late then never.
1. Intro

Ann sat at her kitchen table while her mother made dinner, it was one of those rare nights where her mother arrived home before she went to bed. She was cheerfully writing in names on her 'Great Minds of Science' Valentine's Day card series. She had bought them at the store and couldn't wait to give them out to everyone tomorrow at school. She smiled as she wrote Nate's name on a card with Charles Darwin that said, 'Naturally, I select you.' She smiled and chuckled at the pun. "There, all finished!" She said, "I've got Valentine's cards for everyone!" Her mother let the pasta boil in the pot on the stove and looked down at the cards on the table top while Ann went to collect her satchel so she could put them inside so she wouldn't forget them. She counted nine that were filled out and frowned. When Ann returned with her satchel and carefully slipped them inside an inside pocket her mother asked, "Are you quite sure you've gotten everyone?"

Ann paused, then pulled out her cards and reread the names written on each of them.

She had An, Anny, Nate, Jenny, Plankette (she didn't want to make Jenny upset that she forgot her best friend), Rachel, Karen, Jamie and Sam. Eight people and one hunk of wood, nine cards. Who could she be missing?

Noticing the look of confusion on her daughter's face, her mother then said, "Those three boys who live in that trailer park nearby, you forgot their cards." Then turned back to the pasta, missing her daughter's look of surprise and utter shock that she'd even suggest that.

Ann hadn't _forgotten_ the Kankers, (she wished she could, though) she just knew that giving them something, on Valentine's Day no less, would simply validate their delusions that she and her friends were their girlfriends and would make her and her friends more likely to receive unwanted affection back in return and probably more often from that point forward. She looked down at the table, her card series had come in a pack of twelve, so she had three cards left over, so she couldn't say she didn't have enough cards because;

A.)That would be a lie and she'd never lie to her parents.

B.) Her mother could plainly see she had three cards left, and that was the perfect amount she'd need for the brothers so there was no point to lying anyway.

And C.) Her mother wouldn't believe her if she said she didn't like them.

She bit back a sigh, last week at a parent-teacher conference, all nine of the cul-de-sac children anxiously awaited for their parents to emerge from chatting with all of their teachers in the cafeteria, the three Kanker brothers were there too, they just didn't really care all that much about what the teachers were discussing with their father. The Kanker brothers had gotten bored of waiting and began chasing the Ans around with puckered lips and demonic cackles, the Ans shouting for help as they fled for their lives. No one came to their aid, as usual. Sam and Jamie cowered under the table, wincing as they passed them, Karen, Jenny and Rachel chuckled at the An's dilemma and Nate simply shook his head. Nate felt bad for the Ans, but he wasn't risk his life for them, after all, it wasn't like the Kankers ever hurt them, unlike the rest of them.

When the Ans parents returned from their meetings with their teachers, they found their daughters trapped by the Kanker brothers, An against a trash can, Anny against a table and Ann against the wall, all three of them with their eyes closed (something they did to try and block out what was happening) and their lips pressed against the Kanker brothers'.

Needless to say, all three girls were mortified.

Surprisingly, their mothers all thought it was _sweet_ that they had… ugghh…

_Boyfriends._

The Kankers were pleased that the Ans mothers had accepted them as their boyfriends while the Ans wanted to curl up into little balls and roll far, far away as the other kids chuckled and mocked them. Ann had to endure one of the most uncomfortable interrogations of her life on the car ride home as her mother excitedly asked her all about Larie.

Ann gave out as little information as possible, not wanting her mother to invite him over for dinner or something like that and make it worse, she knew that her mother wouldn't believe that Larie had forced his lips onto hers and that she had no interest in him as a significant other, so she decided that it was best to give short, vague replies to her mother's questions.

Examples:

_Sooo, what is his name?_ Larie.

_Where does he live?_ In the trailer park.

_When did you meet him?_ Over the summer.

_Does he have any siblings_? Yes, he has two.

_Why have you never mentioned him to us?_ There are many other things going on in my life that I believed to be more important sharing with you then discussing a single classmate of mine.

Okay that last example was kind of long, but she couldn't say it was because her parents were rarely home, because she knew how hard they tried to get home early, and she couldn't say it was because she didn't _want_ them to know about Larie because then her mother would suspect that she was trying to hide a relationship that only existed in Larie Kanker's head! So she said that.

But she wasn't the only one who had a long ride home, apparently Anny's ride home had been much worse. Her mother asked her things like how long they had been dating and why she hadn't told them about him before, causing her to flip out and shout that Tee was _not_ her boyfriend and that she _didn't_ like him _at all_. Her mother didn't believe her, after all, she _had_ found Anny with her eyes closed (so she didn't have to look at him while he kissed her) her lips pressed against his (not her choice) and her hands on his chest (she was trying to push him off of her) and one of her legs popped in the air. (she was getting ready to kick him where she knew it would hurt so he'd let go of her.)

An's hadn't been much better. An's mom had gotten upset with her because she didn't tell them she was dating and her dad told her to stop making out with her boyfriend in front of Sam, Sam then told them that they did that all the time, An then told them that he wasn't her boyfriend and that he scared the living daylights out of her and that she didn't want his kisses, that all she wanted was for him to leave her alone! An's parents didn't believe her either. Even though she had been crying hysterically when they had found her with Jay's mouth pressed against her own.

Needless to say, the last thing Ann wanted to do was give any of the brothers a Valentine's Day card. But she knew her mother would be upset with her if she didn't do so, and she hated making her mother upset.

So, fighting a frown, she put the nine she had already completed and put them back into her bag. She then began writing Larie's name on a card with Albert Einstein on it, it wasn't until she read the card that she quickly panicked, if she gave him this card, he'd tear her skirt off in a matter of milliseconds! She quickly reached for a different card, but before she could, her mother informed her that it was time for dinner and kindly asked her to clear off the table. Ann winced, but did so.

She picked up the three cards and her satchel and placed them on the coffee table in the living room, the cards sitting under her school bag.

Ann would forget about those cards and leave them sitting on the coffee table the next morning after snatching up her satchel and racing to meet up with her friends so they could all walk to school together as usual.

Author's Note: Welp, this is the intro to An, Ann n' Anny's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo, I put it in a separate chapter cause I thought you all would like a taste, since this will take me a while to write the whole thing but I hope you like it.


	2. Jay's Valentine

The Ans walked up to Peach Creek Jr. High that morning, where the message board out front read "Happy Valentine's Day!" then under it, "Go Cobblers!" A bus pulls up and delivers the other kids in the cul-de-sac to the school, except for Sam and Jamie who were both home sick that day.

Inside the school, every hallway was decorated with hearts with lace around them and red, white and pink streamers, inside in a classroom was a drawing of each An on a blackboard, with the words, "An, Ann 'n Anny in" and on the board in the next classroom it said, "Hanky Panky Hullabaloo" in a giant red heart with an arrow going through it, with smaller hearts all around it.

Outside the room there was a classic red heart with white lace all around it stuck to the wall, blue letters above the heart said, "Enjoy" and inside the heart, in white said "This converted episode". Across the hall, on the announcement board, one page read, "And if you don't", another page had, "I will hunt you down." Written on it. Another page said the words, "And beat you with a ukulele." The other pages were for school events like last month's pep rally and a bake sale that happened last week.

Finally on the Principal's office door, a short girl with long dirty blonde hair finishes putting the new vinyl words up on his door and steps back to look at it, looking pleased with herself.

"The Original Episode belongs to Mr. Danny Antonucci, but this converted episode was written by and belongs to lolzwaitwhat (also known as Sam A.)"

"Perfect." The girl said, admiring her handiwork, she then looks at the audience, "What? This title sequence was in the episode." She said with a smile and a shrug, "I thought I might play with it a little bit."

Then three spitballs splatter onto the door in rapid succession. The girl scowls and looks toward where the spitballs had come from, rolling up her sleeve and growls, "Why you little…"

"HEY!" an adult male voice calls to the girl from down the hall, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

"Uh oh…" the girl said as she turned and ran away, muttering swear words as she flees the angry teacher, "WHOSE CLASS ARE YOU IN? YOU'VE JUST EARNED YOURSELF A ONE WAY TICKET TO A MONTH LONG DETENTION MISSY!" the teacher demanded.

"I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL HERE! I'M TWENTY-TWO!" the girl shouted back as she picked up her pace as the teacher shouts threats at her, shaking his fist.

The Kanker brothers, who had been sitting on the bench in front of the principal's office watching the author of their story deface school property and sitting in front of a poster with the words, 'Love: Exciting & New!', watched their teacher chase her down the hallway towards the exit before getting bored and Tee goes back to tearing pages out of his textbook, shoving them into his mouth, chewing them up and hacking them through a straw at the author's disclaimer on the door in front of them some more. Larie was picking random things absentmindedly out of his teeth, looking bored. They knew it was Valentine's day, but their dad told them to never show their, blech, _sensitive_ sides, so they acted like it was any other day.

Unlike his brothers, however, Jay was all _for_ showing An his sensitive side, especially today. He laid on his belly on the floor, a pair of scissors on his left and an open box of crayons to his right, he was making a heart shaped Valentine's day card for An. He was smiling with his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth beside his buck teeth as he put the final touches on his masterpiece. He was so excited to see the look on An's face when he gave her his homemade Valentine! He was sure she'd love it even more since he took the time to make it for her, although, he did kinda wait until the last minute, but he had been kinda busy fantasizing about her reaction to his card then actually making it, but she didn't need to know that.

Larie looked down at his little brother as his older brother shoved the remaining half of the page in his hand into his mouth and began chewing, deciding to aim for the middle of the 'o' in lolzwaitwhat (Author: friggin' jerk!) when Larie smirked impishly and elbowed Tee in the cheek to get his attention, making him swallow the paper he had been chewing. (Author: HA!) He snarled at his blue haired brother and reeled his clenched fist for a revenge punch in the jaw, when he noticed Larie pointing to Jay who was smiling as he colored a badly cut out heart-shaped card on the floor, his feet swinging in the air. "Hey Tee." Larie said, "Check out Mr. Vincent VanStinko!" he teased just as Jay held up his finally completed Valentine, smiling proudly at it. It had come out even better then he had hoped!

The cover had hearts within hearts on the front, Jay was looking over the interior one last time, double checking to make sure everything was perfect. He smiled, satisfied when Tee snatched it out of his hands, "What's this?" he asked in a mocking tone, "Aww, it's a Valentine's Card!" he said, looking at his youngest brother's hard work and trying not to laugh, Larie leaned over to look at the poorly crafted card in his red-headed brother's grasp, ready to help mock.

Jay felt rage surge through him, just because his brothers had decided not to show _their _girls how much _they_ cared about them on this special day, _did __**not**_ mean they could mess with_ his_ special Valentine for An. Jay leapt at his eldest brother, his face contorted into a snarl as he shouted, "THAT'S FOR MY GIRLFRIEND!" crashing into his stomach and knocking Tee into the lockers behind him, making his Valentine for An fall onto Larie's face.

As Tee and Jay wrestled on the floor, Larie opened the card and started to chuckle, aw man! This was so sappy and pathetic! "It's for big An, Tee!" Larie said with a laugh, holding it open for him, revealing the interior to have 'To: An' with a heart next to it, then below it was a picture of an eye with big eyelashes and then the words 'love you' after it, below it was a heart and 'Jay' on the left half of it. On the right half was an illustration of An and Jay kissing with hearts all around them, the words 'true love' along the top, xs and os along the right side of the picture. The card had a few stains on it near the crease of the fold.

The card went against everything their dad told them about wooing girls, especially the biggest one, which was, 'Never say 'I love you' until you put a ring on it.'

And Jay had taken up half of this girly thing to say just that.

Jay hopped off of Tee and leapt into the air over Larie, demanding that he "GIVE THAT BACK!" sounding angrier then he had ever sounded in his whole life as he stomped on his older brother's head, crushing him into the ground and making his tongue fly out of his mouth, Jay's card hovering in mid-air before floating into Jay's hands as Tee pulled himself up off the floor.

He smiled at his Valentine, he was sure that this would win him An's heart. He then looked down at Larie, who he was still standing on, his eyes bugging out of his head.

Jay crossed his arms in front of his chest, letting his fury that his brothers had tried to mess up his gift to her as he declared that "AN IS THE BESTEST GIRLFRIEND _**EVER!**_" uncrossing his arms and holding them out, as if to make his point and glaring at his older siblings before recrossing his arms, thrusting his nose into the air and turning on his heel and leaving with a 'hmph!'

Larie pulled himself up off the ground, a little woozy to the blow to the head, "What a girl." He said, annoyed. Tee opened his dump of a locker and grabbing a book for his next class, then turned to Larie and chuckled, "Hormones." Then slammed it shut and laughed all the way to class, Larie stomping behind him, annoyed that he had let their blonde brother pull one over on him.

Jay hummed with his nose still in the air, letting his rage fade away as he began his search for An, a smile sliding up his face as he imagined the look on her face when she saw his card and how he was such a good boyfriend for making one for her himself.

Two fairies wearing white togas with bows and arrows with hearts on the end of them fly into the center of the hallway, watching with devious glints in their eyes as Jay turned the corner.

One of the fairies, who looked suspiciously like Jamie, pulled her hands close to her heart as if in prayer, sang, "When nature stirs on Valentine's Day, and faces children with their splendor…"

The other fairy, who looked suspiciously like Sam, tapped his head and finished with, "Suddenly their minds will stray to thoughts of love and words so tender!" The two fairies then giggled and flew off.

"LET'S LEARN!" A loud, familiar girl's voice cried eagerly. Anny then quickly turned the corner into the hallway, ready to run down the hall as if she was running a race, her arms spread out wide, ready to usher her friends, who were behind her, to follow, "LAST ONE TO CLASS IS A-!" she then paused, confused by her own words and said, "What am I saying?" then let her arms drop to her sides and frowned, annoyed.

She hated school, why was she acting all excited? She wondered this as she adjusted her backpack straps and trudged forward, irritated as Double-N turned the corner.

"Isn't Valentine's Day wonderful?" Double-N asked her friends cheerfully, clasping her hands together and waving them enthusiastically as An dashed past the hallway only for her to realize her friends had turned and ran towards her friends, her arms flapping behind her as she ran to catch up to her friends as Double-N went on to say, "As I'm sure you're aware, it can be quite unnerving to express one's come hither feelings of amore." She said, Anny glanced back at her friend, not really caring what she had to say about this holiday. Honestly, if they didn't get out of school for it, then what was the point of even having it? Anny began tuning her out, which wasn't all that hard since she had been doing it for years.

"Yet," Double-N continued, "this holiday conquers this upchuck of apprehension and allows one that opportunity to let that special someone know you care!" she said cheerfully, clasping her hands and putting them over her heart. She loved this day, she someday hoped that her dream guy would sweep her off her feet and this day just renewed them, even though she usually spent this day with her best friends as her only company. But she refused to give up hope that maybe, this year she could have a romance on this special day.

An grabbed her mouth in mid thought, looking back and forth, as if she feared that someone would attack her by speaking of the holiday (which, with the Kanker brothers around, that was actually a liable threat), she put both her hands on her friend's mouth. "Yucky, squishy, UCKY BOYS, DOUBLE-N!" she cried, then she moved Double-N's head aside to check to see if any were behind her, whispering into her ear conspiratorially, "The fish have chips, my fine friend." Only to then drop her and dash to her locker, quickly spinning in her locker combo, (Author: 1, 2, 3) and letting what resembled a toxic waste dump of the odd and disgusting to flop out with a wet 'SPLAT!'

Anny burst out laughing while Double-N pulled herself off the ground, looking concerned that An had so much… _whatever_ disgusting substance that coated the…_objects_ in her locker.

Judging by it's brown color and the fact that it was An, it was most likely gravy.

"An!" Anny managed through her laughter, "Your locker stinks like…"

"An onion!" An said, holding out the round, layered vegetable, which surprised her friends a little bit since An wasn't very fond of veggies, or really anything healthy for her to eat. And it was _huge_, where had she found it? Then again, it could have been growing in her locker for all they knew, it was a pretty gross and mysterious place. An then further surprised her friends by taking a large bite out of it and telling them, "Boys do not like stinky breath." With a greenish gas coming out of her mouth that made Anny and Double-N recoil away from their simple friend.

Anny and Double-N didn't like bad breath either, Anny's tongue was stuck between her teeth, disgusted, Double-N just looked appalled. An's usual lack of hygiene made her stink badly enough, but with a mouthful of onion, aww man! It made her smell worse then usual, and _that_ was seriously saying something.

"Camouflage!" she cried, pulling a paper bag on her face with a silly face scribbled on it, with blond hair, eyes looking at one another, a nose so high up that you could see it's nostrils and a big smile with it's tongue lolling out, she pointed at her paper bag with her index fingers and explained that it was, "So boys cannot see you! And…" She then pulled out a red, powder blue and white shoebox, the lid had holes poked in the top, along the side of the lid had a skull and some scribbles beside it. The box itself had once held a pair of Stinkz tennis shoes, a popular local brand, despite it's horrible name, the shorter side of the box had a warning written in red pen, 'Don't open!'

"A Spider!" An said, "Boys hate them, Sam said so." An explained, not noticing the, rather large, spider that was currently climbing up her arm and up her chest and to her neck, she only felt the tickle of it's many legs clambering up her body and made her laugh, she finally moved the bag up off of her face and looked down to see what had been tickling her, only to see the very spider she had worked so hard to catch, even though normal spiders gave her the creeps, (she was fine with ones in her movies 'cause those were cool, but normal spiders just freaked her out) standing on the collar of her shirt.

Her eyes bugged out of her head and her mouth quickly shifted from a happy smile to a terrified frown. She leapt in the air, "SPIDER!" she shrieked, making Anny start to laugh as An then began running around in circles shouting, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AHHH!" Double-N put her hand to her mouth, concerned for An and the spider that was probably clinging for life on her frightened friend's chest, Anny still laughing at their foolish friend's plight.

An leapt onto a water fountain and leaned her chest towards the spout and pressed the button to release the water from the fountain and slapped at the water coming out onto her shirt, in an attempt to wash the spider off of her, the paper bag was scrunched up on the top of her head and she looked as if she feared that the spider was about to punch her hard in the face as she splashed water all over herself.

Double-N quickly dashed over, deciding it was best to rescue the spider and get it away from An before she got one, or worse, both of them hurt.

"For Goodness Sake!" Double-N scolded, "You're frightening the poor thing!" She cupped her hands around the arachnid and ushering it to crawl onto her hand, she momentarily admired the specimen, it was a big spider, she had to give An some serious credit for finding such a large one, the red band around it's abdomen, she was not familiar with the species and, although she wished to put it in a jar until she could properly identify it. But the spider already frightened An and An it, and despite Anny's laughter, she wasn't exactly fond of arachnids either, so she decided to simply let it go and try to identify it later. She carefully cupped the spider with both hands and carefully released it onto the window sill and watched as it quickly skittered away to the outdoors. "There," she said in a soft voice, "All better."

Anny, got up off the floor, finally recovering from her laughter, and waved her hand at her friends, "Eh, you babies got it light!" she said, making a show out of inspecting her finger nails as she went on to say, "Yup, Valentine's Day is just the same old grind for this hunk magnet." Anny said brashly, Double-N rolled her eyes.

Anny was over exaggerating, of course, besides the Kanker brothers, there were no other boys interested in the Ans romantically. Anny said it was because the Kankers frightened the guys off, but Double-N knew it was because mainly because they were unpopular… and unlucky.

But the Kankers definitely didn't exactly help their chances of finding romance in middle school.

But at least they had each other.

Anny flicked her locker(number 204)'s combo lock so it hit the last number (she had done the first two parts of her locker combo right after closing it before she had left yesterday so she could simply turn it to the last number and open it, she smiled as her lock popped open, she then slipped it off of the locker and used it to pull the door open, her pinky in the air, adding a dash of flair as a large stand plopped out of her locker, a large banner along the top of the stand that said 'Kiss the Hottie', a disco ball spinning and reflecting light everywhere, annoying music starting to play as it slid out of her locker, there were paper cut outs of lipstick kiss marks hanging underneath the sign and a bell sat on the stand, Anny stood beside it, pleased with herself and her stand.

Double-N gave her a flat look, as if to say, 'Really, Anny? A kissing booth?' An simply smiled as Anny pulled out her jar, a piece of paper taped to it that said, '25¢' in green and underneath, in red, 'a smooch'.

"Twenty-five cents a smooch, boys! Line forms to my left!" Anny explained eagerly, indicating her left before testing her bell. She rubbed her hands together eagerly, this had to be her best plan yet!

After a few moments without any customers, An raced up towards their friend, her arm around an unamused Double-N. An absentmindedly scratched her chest while Double-N glanced back and forth only to give their friend a flat look.

Anny's face fell as she realized that no one was coming, for a moment, Anny mused if it was because she wasn't desirable as a girl, but quickly tossed that idea out the window, she was a total catch and every guy should be counting his lucky stars hoping that she might pick 'em. She looked at her friends and said, "Uh, they must be freshening up in the can." She said, then smiled as if nothing was wrong as she stared straight ahead, her hands intertwined on her stand as she waited.

An continued to scratch herself as Double-N sarcastically repeated, "In the _can_," she then began ruffling around in her bag for her valentines cards, "Right." She smiled as she found them in the same pocket she had slipped them in last night, she pulled them out, the nine cards tied up in a nice pink bow that she had done before bed, not wanting them to get lost in her bag, as if that was even possible since her bag was perfectly organized. "Oh, while we're waiting, I've got a little something here for you." She said, carefully undoing the bow and shifted through them to find the one she had been looking for, which was An's and held it out in front of her while she attempted to pick her nose with her tongue, stopping when she saw the card Double-N held out for her, "Happy Valentine's Day, An!" Double-N said cheerfully.

An smiled and took her card only to then shove it into her face, "Nap time already?" she asked. Anny watched as her brainy friend then joyously handed her a card from her stack, her friend looked so proud of the piece of paper she held out in front of her loud friend, Anny just gave her a look that said, 'are you for real right now?' The cards seemed to be from one of those sets that you'd get from a store, the ones you'd get so you could give them out to everyone in your class, after you taped candy to them, of course. But giving them out to people now, in junior high? It just wasn't done!

"Anny?" Double-N called, handing her a card that said, 'You Electrify me' with two weird coily thingys like she'd seen in an old Frankenstein movie and lightning in the background, with a weird guys' face in a heart and a little scrolly looking thing in the corner with the name 'Nikola Tesla'. On the bottom it had the classic to and from thing, with her name written in Double-N's perfect cursive handwriting under "to:" on a dotted line, and Double-N's real name Ann with "Double N" written underneath it, as if she needed to be reminded who was giving it to her right now. Anny read it in a confused voice, "You _electrify_ me?" she then looked up at her friend with a scowl, "Who the heck is _this _guy?" she then asked, annoyed.

"Nikola Tesla, Anny!" Double-N said cheerfully as An walked behind her, staring at her card intently, "It's part of my 'Great Minds of Science' Valentine's Day card series!" Anny rolled her eyes, of course, even her store bought valentine's cards had to be educational. Where did she even find these stupid things? 'Nerds 'R Us?'

An smiled as she pointed to her own card, "It has a _mind_, Anny!" she said, intrigued, she liked her card, it had an explosion on it that looked like a heart with a guy with a beard on it, it read, "I think you're DYNAMITE!" and had a little scroll on the bottom with the name 'Alfred Noble' on it. She had no idea what it really meant, but she liked it and she was glad Double-N had given it to her, explosions were cool!

Anny looked at her card for another minute before looking up at her friends and asking, "Ain't you supposed to give these things to boys?"

Both of her friends paused at this question, but before either of them could utter a word in response, Anny's bell rang, she lit up, "A customer!" she cried, excited as she slammed her card onto the table. Finally, a chance to show everyone how much of a man magnet she was! She looked over towards the bell, An smiled as she turned to it while Double-N looked skeptical.

An's face was the first to change into a horrified one, with Anny and Double-N tying for second as the three girls let out a terrified cry as they looked at Anny's first 'customer':

_Jay Kanker_.

The Ans cowered a bit at the sight of him, but Double-N quickly realized that he was without Tee and Larie and holding a heart shaped card in his hand while looking hopefully at An, who looked ready to pee herself in fear.

He then smiled in a way that was probably supposed to be alluring but only made An cringe, "Happy Valentine's An!" he said in a flirty voice. An quickly tugged her bag back over her head, which was no longer the funny face it had been earlier, now resembling a one-eyed creature with it's mouth open and it's green tongue sticking out.

The bag was quickly snatched off of her head by Anny, who put it on herself, after all, it was _her_ kissing booth, not An's, she wasn't taking any chances. An fell forward, squeezed the bag (and Anny's face with it) before yanking it off and shoving it back on her head. Anny scowled at her, then shrank down behind her stand as Jay approached An, a big smile on his face, "You're the prettiest, sweetest, cutest, biggest hunk of woman in the land!" he said to her sweetly with wide eyes as he leaned against her, making An sweat profusely, he then backed away and held up his handmade card to her, "Will you be mine?" he asked, closing his eyes and smiling bashfully, eagerly awaiting her cheerful, "Yes!" or "Of course!"

But instead, An turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could, the bag still on her head as she shouted, "AHHH! YUCKY, MUSHY, UCKY BOYS!" only for her to then ram herself into the wall on the end of the hallway and turn back around towards them, still shouting, "WOE! HURT! PAIN!" as she then ran over Jay, destroying his valentine to her, "RUN! PAIN!" she finished as Jay reeled from pain, but if it was from An running him over or the pain in his chest from her rejection, he didn't know.

Anny started to laugh, not just because she enjoyed An's shenanigans, but it was very rare that the Kankers got what they deserved for humiliating with all their stupid affections all the time, and it was funny to see it happen.

Double-N on the other hand, couldn't help feeling sorry for Jay, honestly, she actually thought his gesture was rather sweet. It was also _waaayy_ nicer then what any of them were used to getting from a Kanker.

She could tell from his card that he made it himself, and he had seemed so proud of it when he displayed it to An. It also must have taken a lot of courage to ask An to be his Valentine, he looked crushed when she rejected it, both emotionally and physically. (after An kinda trampled on him to get away.) She actually wanted to comfort him, which she'd never normally consider, but Jay was so upset. And Anny's laughter wasn't helping. She was about to scold her when Anny's bell rang again, "A customer!" she cried out eagerly, she turned to the sound and puckered her lips, only to see an annoyed Karen, wearing her hall monitor sash. Anny quickly sucked her lips back in (a talent she gained after dealing with Tee so much) then stuck out her tongue. She then waved at Karen to shoo with her hands as she said, in a disgusted tone of voice, "In your dreams, pal."

Karen scowled, obviously not in a good mood, (but in the Ans experience, she hardly ever was.) and slammed her hand on the table, "Get this _hunk_ of _junk_ out of the hallway and get to class." She ordered angrily. Anny snarled at her, she had worked on this 'hunk of junk' for hours! "Don't let your brains go to your head, Miss Hall Monitor!" Anny snapped in response, it wasn't her best quip, mind you, but it seemed to make Karen angry so she felt as if she had managed to get a little payback, she turned away from Karen defiantly, pouting.

Karen's face then lit up as she said, "Oh!" and proudly pulled out a clipboard, making sure to lick her pencil before she wrote on it and tore the sheet off of the page, "You just got yourself a detention." She said smugly before adding, "_Pal_." As she handed the yellow slip of paper to Anny who, after realizing what had just happened, snatched it from her hands with a growl, crumpling it in her fists before grumbling and walking around her stand, "Of all the rotten…" Double-N managed to comprehend as Anny tossed the slip over her shoulder with a hateful expression as she then shoved the stand back into her locker.

Double-N gently tapped on Karen's shoulder, "Come, now, Karen." She said in a pleasant tone, hoping that today, maybe Karen would be reasonable and just let Anny off with a warning for once, she smiled cheerfully at her as she then said, "Why taint the emotional sincerity of Valentine's Day with a detention slip?" Karen glared at her and slapped another slip into her hand and put her face merely inches from Double-N's and said, in an annoyed tone, "That's for sticking up for _Dorky_."

Double-N felt as if she was going to be sick. Detention? She'd _never_ gotten a detention before! And all for asking Karen to be a little kinder today!

"But I've never had a detention!" she cried, upset that she had gotten such a horrible thing for doing basically nothing while Anny carried her books to class, Karen smirked a bit as she kicked Anny in the rear, making her nearly drop her books onto the ground, luckily Anny was pretty quick and agile, so she managed to not drop them, and then dash away as Karen shouted for her to "MOVE IT, SLOUCH!" She then leaned her head back and laughed as she followed Anny to class, loving the power of being a Hall Monitor, leaving Double-N to wish that the teachers had picked someone who actually treated their fellow human beings as such to be the hall monitor instead of Karen, who usually just picked on them and gave Anny and An detention because she could.

Double-N looked at her own detention slip, wondering how she could explain this to her parents, when she heard a strange sound coming from the janitor's closet. It almost sounded as if… as if someone was crying…

Double-N quickly shoved her accursed detention slip into her bag while pulling out her books for her next class as she quickly shuffled towards the janitor's closet, the sound of sobbing getting louder as she got closer to it.

When she finally opened the door, she was shocked to see Jay Kanker curled up on the floor, bawling his eyes out in a puddle of his own tears.

"Jay?" she asked softly, not wanting to frighten him, he was already upset, she didn't need to make it worse. "Are you, um, crying?" she asked.

"No!" he managed through his sobs, not exactly putting on a convincing act.

Double-N stood there, not knowing what to do, she couldn't just leave him crying here, Kanker or not, he was still a person with feelings that were obviously hurt and since the Kankers did_ not_ have any friends, the only people she could ask for help with him were Tee and Larie, and she highly doubted that they would be very sympathetic to their brother's current condition, in fact, they'd probably just make it worse. So she tried talking to him again in a calm, soft voice, "Jay…?"

"BIG AN HATES ME!" he wailed before curling back up into a ball and bawling his eyes out.

Double-N felt her heart break for him, while she wasn't fond of the brothers, An hadn't exactly let him down gently. Double-N glanced around for a teacher or someone he could talk to, but the halls were empty, it was just her and Jay.

The bell for their first class rang, Double-N turned and glanced outside, she needed to get to class, or risk getting in even more trouble with Karen the Sadistic Hall Monitor, but she couldn't just _leave_ Jay like this, she was torn, help someone who happily harassed them and pounced on them, or get in trouble because the hall monitor had issues with her and her friends.

"Um…" she said in a soft tone, trying to help him calm down, like she would do with An, "I'm sure it's nothing like that." She said. It wasn't technically a lie, An feared Jay, sure, but she didn't hate him. An was incapable of such a cold emotion, "An's just being shy." Double-N fibbed with a smile that even she could tell was unconvincing, not that Jay was even looking at her, his hands were covering his eyes as more tears ran down his cheeks.

She nervously glanced around, hoping that a teacher or someone else could come in and cover for her so she could get to class and Jay could have someone to help him through his painful time, but no such luck, "Oh dear…" she murmured.

But then again, having no luck was an An's luck.

"Don't you think we should be getting to class?" she asked softly, "It might help get your mind off of your troubles." She said, trying to help Jay and avoid getting any more detentions.

Jay sniffed and lifted his head, giving Double-N just a little bit of hope before crying out, "AND NOW I GOT NO VALENTINE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY!"

At the mention of Valentines, Double-N smiled a bit, _'The Valentines Mother made me write for the Kankers, of course!_' she thought as she rummaged through her bag, she pulled out her cards and searched for the brothers' cards, only she couldn't find them.

'What the…' then she remembered that she never finished writing the cards, there was one that she had already filled out for Larie and two blank ones for Jay and Tee still sitting on the coffee table at her house. She cursed herself for forgetting the cards, and snagged one from the pile, it was Darwin card she had picked out for Nate, while she had been hoping to give this to him, she highly doubted that she'd have the courage to even talk to him, let alone give him a valentine. She quickly crossed out Nate's name and wrote Jay's name beneath it, "I-I really must be getting to class," she said, handing him the Valentine, feeling awful for leaving him but was fearful of what Karen might do if she found her still in the hallway, Jay stopped wailing and accepted the card, wondering what it was (his vision was kind of blurry from the tears) "Happy Valentine's Day, Jay." She said in a soft, kind voice before she dashed for class. Jay calming himself so he could read the paper in front of him.

When he finally did he saw the card had an old man pointing to the viewer and holding up a heart with an ape, a weird monkey thing, a caveman and then a normal person with a bouquet of flowers in their hands. In the corner it read, 'Charles Darwin'

"Naturally, I select you?" he read, confused. He looked at the card, Nate's name was under the "To:" part but it was crossed out and his name was underneath.

Now, although neither he nor his brothers liked this fact, it was well known that the Ans, along with Jenny and Karen, all kinda sorta had a thing for Nate, so the fact that Double-N had given him her Valentine for Nate was really nice of her.

Although he didn't really get the old guy on the card, but Double-N was really smart, maybe this card was like those funny cards at those card shops and he didn't get it because he had no idea who… he squinted to read the name on the paper, 'Charles Darwin' was… Jay paused, actually, he _did_ know something about this guy, he discovered evolution! Or something like that… he then remembered the chart that the guy made up and saw that it resembled the card. (Author: he remembered that because it had monkeys on it.) He chuckled a bit, monkeys were funny, it was really nice of her to give him a card with a monkey on it, he got up to thank Double-N for the card, but when he finally left the janitor's closet he saw her dash around the corner, chanting "Late! Late! Late!"

"Double-N?" he called softly, tears still streaming down his face, hoping she could still hear him and come back so he could thank her for being so nice to him and not making fun of him for crying like his brothers would.

That's when, unknown to him, an arrow with a heart shaped arrow head struck him right in the rear.

Well, he _felt_ the arrow, it was kinda hard not to feel a sharp pain in one's butt like that, but he had no idea what just hit him. He soon wouldn't care.

His body twisted and twirled and his eyes turned pink and he leapt into the air, huge hearts in his eyes as he tugged at his bangs.

'Double-N's so nice.' He thought dreamily, 'and sweet and pretty and kind…' his mind began to reel through the things Larie would usually go on about when they were talking about how great their Ans were, his heart pounding wildly in his chest as he did.

The arrow in his bum was making him head over heels for Double-N instead of An, not that Jay minded, after all, An had pretty much stomped all over his heart... as well as a few other organs… and bones and stuff, while Double-N had been kind enough to comfort him when he was upset, despite their history.

He then realized that he and his brothers had class with her and her friends this period, for science class. 'Maybe she'll need a partner!' Jay thought as he hovered to class, giant red hearts floating behind him as he did.

The two fairies from earlier flew down, each armed with bows and looking quite pleased with themselves, the one that looked like Sam squealed, "And so the spring of love is seated deep within the Kanker lad!" The one that looked like Jamie cheerfully sang, "Still, another one is needed for it's blossom to expand!" then the two giggled and held their hands up to their mouths as if they were sharing a juicy secret.

The blonde chick from earlier passes, "CURSE YOU FAIRIES FOR YOUR RHYMING WAYS! Seriously, though, it's hard to get the same feel when I have to make stuff rhyme for you two…"

"GET BACK HERE!" the teacher yelled as he races down the hallway to get her.

"NO!" she shouts back and runs faster.

The fairies, now done with their lack luster rhyme…

"And whose fault is that, Miss Author?" Jamie asked the girl as she flees the angry teacher. The author scowls at the fairies and growls, "You're lucky I'm the only one who can see you freaks right now and that I'm kinda busy with this guy," she snaps, indicating the teacher behind her, "but trust me, you'll get yours and I'll be there to enjoy all the pain and suffering you've got coming to ya."

"Yeah right." Sam scoffs, "From who?" The girl and teacher dash past a short hallway, where Rachel is drinking from the water fountain and the fairies float past that hallway as well, chuckling at the Author's dilemma like the little flying jerks they are, then Rachel abruptly stops drinking and sniffs the air, her face pulling into a scowl, "Rachel smells the inky scent of mountain sprites, come to make mischief among us!" she snarled.

(Author: Her. Muha-ha-ha.)


	3. Double-N's Valentine

In science class, Larie and Tee sat at a table and were looking in an anatomy textbook, what they were looking at in the book was obvious due to what they were saying.

"Hubba Hubba!" Tee chuckled as he and his blue haired brother's heads dove into the book, "Oh baby!" Larie cried out eagerly, Tee then turned the page and the two brothers chuckled, not noticing the weird behavior of their youngest brother, who was sitting at the table in front of them.

Jay had slipped into the classroom and sat next to Jenny and Plankette, who had also received Valentine's day cards from Double-N, only unlike Jay, they had been able to properly thank her for it immediately after receiving theirs.

However, unlike Jenny and Plankette, Jay had been staring lovingly at Double-N, who was working at the table beside his brothers, with wide, pink eyes. Not that she had noticed, she was too engrossed with her work with some chemicals, or else she would have noticed Larie sitting at the table next to her and had frantically switched tables.

She wore gloves and goggles and a lab coat while she worked, Jay sighing as he finally realized that Larie was right, she _was _cute when she dressed up as a scientist. Double-N squinted up at the beaker she was holding up to the light, carefully swishing the contents of the beaker around to inspect it for... _whatever_ she was doing.

She stopped looking at the beaker to see An_ wearing_ the skeleton that they kept in the classroom, a cheerful grin on her face. The rib cage was around her chest and arms, the bottom of the jaw where her own chin could be (Author: IF SHE HAD ONE!) while the top of the skull sat atop her head, like some sort of weird hat, the rest of the bones trailing behind her.

"BOY, AM I PARCHED!" she cried as she passed her brainy friend, obviously joking around instead of doing her school work like she was supposed to. Anny was right behind her, chuckling with the textbook they needed for their work tucked under her arm, "Man, are you gonna get in trouble!" she howled with laughter as she made her way to the back of the classroom to work with their own chemicals.

Despite An's actions, she probably wouldn't get in trouble, mainly because the science teacher had left to chase some random young woman who had snuck into the school and vandalized the principal's office door shortly after giving them their assignment, and apparently this individual was a wily one because all the teachers were chasing her around the school. (Author: I don't mean to brag, but yeah, I can be pretty wily when I want to be.)

Double-N rolled her eyes and frowned at her friends and held her notebook up to reexamine the instructions for this assignment that was written down on a worksheet that she had out there, "Some of us are here to _learn_. Thank you." She said, annoyed by her friends goofing off in class, just because the teacher was off to chase some random trouble-maker, did not mean they should shirk their responsibilities as students, especially with their grades…

Jay decided that now would be a good time to make his move, his brothers were too enthralled by the pictures in their anatomy book and An and Anny were busy with their own work, now that An had removed the class skeleton off of her and put it on the table in front of her and Anny so they could begin randomly mixing chemicals even though they had been given clear and precise instructions on what they needed to do before their teacher left.

Jay hovered towards the brainiest of the Ans and her perfectly organized workspace and eagerly cried out, "Hiya Double-N!" staring at her lovingly, his hands intertwined over his heart as he looked down at Double-N, who was leaned over her science notebook, carefully filling out the answers to the questions on the worksheet that the teacher had given them before stepping out, her tongue peaking out of her mouth as she wrote out the answers in her perfect cursive handwriting, she looked up at him and quickly straightened herself, surprised that his cheerful greeting.

She gave him a nervous grin, unsure how to handle his sudden cheerfulness after she had witnessed him sobbing hysterically just a little while ago in the janitor's closet, after having An stomp all over his heart (among other things).

"Ah, feeling better Jay?" she asked him, while confused by his elated mood, she was also a little pleased to see that he was no longer crying, hopefully her card had cheered him up a bit.

Jay said nothing in response, he simply stared at her… and it was kind of starting to creeping her out. She paused, 'did Jay get taller all of a sudden?' she asked herself, she then looked down and realized that Jay was _floating_ in _mid-air_. She resisted the An-like urge to wave her hand underneath his floating body to make sure it was real, because with her luck, gravity would surely begin to work again and crush her hand under Jay's body and that would be really bad.

She looked at him for a moment, trying to process what was going on with Jay.

Well, it was needless to say that him floating in mid air like a balloon wasn't normal. Anyone other then An floating in the air like that wasn't normal. (Author: why everyone but An, you may ask? Well that's because An is An, and if I need to explain that to you, I will face palm at you with both hands repeatedly first)

She glanced up at his face for a moment, his eyes were huge and staring at her in a way that made her feel really uncomfortable, but there was something different about them…

They were _pink_, and not 'just crying' pink, but his over-sized pupils and irises were pink… Double-N had no idea what color his eyes really were, honestly, she, like her friends, tried to avoid any and all kind of contact with the brothers, including eye contact, but Double-N knew for a fact that they weren't pink.

She was starting to get the feeling that something bad was going to happen to her. And, unfortunately, that sense was hardly ever wrong.

A female voice suddenly cried from the hallway, "HOW CAN YOU HAVE THIS MANY TEACHERS WHEN YOU ONLY HAVE TWELVE STUDENTS IN THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL?"

The voice had the trampling of multiple angry teachers behind her as a response.

Double-N then quickly turned back to her work, switching her notebook and her beaker so she could complete the assignment further away from Jay, "Well, it was nice talking to you." She said quickly, not noticing An and Anny messing around with random chemicals behind her, creating a yellow green concoction that was beginning to turn orange and bubble to the surface of the beaker, not that they cared, they thought it was cool.

"Oh, look at this!" she continued quickly as she began scribbling, desperately hoping that Jay would float away if she seemed busy, "Work, work, work. And to think, this assignment is worth forty percent of our term!" She rambled on without looking at him, keeping her eyes glued to the page as scribbling her answers onto it as quickly as possible, hoping if she finished quickly that she could then excuse herself to the bathroom and hide there until her next class, where, hopefully, the teacher would be there so she wouldn't have to further engage in this uncomfortable silence with Jay staring at her like this.

Jay leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear, in a soft voice she thought impossible from a Kanker, "Can I be your partner?" Double-N stiffened, sweat now starting to pour down her face and body, despite the fact that, to her, the room's temperature seemed to drop, then looked at him, terrified as he eagerly beamed down at her with a loving smile.

Honestly, having _one_ Kanker infatuated with her was bad enough, but _two_? Double-N doubted she could handle that, so she gave him a nervous toothy one in response as she was just about to politely say no thank you, that she had this covered, only for An and Anny's little experiment to blow up in their faces and blast Double-N and Jay with them.

The explosion had sent Double-N forward a bit and made her hat spin around on her head until it slowed to a stop, now covering her eyes before the force of the blast caused her head to slam face first into the table as various chunks of bone, table, glass, and cloth flew outward.

Not that Jay seemed to have notice the explosion or even register that it even existed, despite that it blasted his hair back. Nope, he was still floating after the explosion, staring lovingly at Double-N as if she was reading her valentine aloud to him instead of slowly pulling her face from the table, woozy from the face plant into the table and a little shell-shocked from the sudden explosion.

"PINK BELLY!" An cried after the smoke had cleared.

The blast had burned part of the large periodic sign on the back wall of the classroom, destroy the sink beside them, flip the table next to theirs over onto it's own sink, obliterating the class skeleton and most of Anny and An's clothes in the blast and covering them in soot, a dark circular blast mark was all that was left of their work space. But the two girls somehow miraculously managed to remain unharmed by their explosion, which, in retrospect shouldn't have been all that surprising, after all, An could crash through buildings without a scratch and while Anny wasn't nearly as indestructible as An, she was still a tough cookie who could get crushed by a house and come out with only minor injuries, like scrapes and bruises.

An chuckled, holding the remains of their beaker and whatever had been in the test tube that she had added to the beaker in her hands as if she was still adding the chemical while Anny fumed beside her, her fists clenched and her face squished into an angry scowl.

"Oh_ way to go_, _**NUMBSKULL**_!" Anny shrieked angrily at An, "You _ruined_ my _shirt_!" It was true, the blast had transformed Anny and An's shirts into shreds, barely covering their chests and covered everything from the waist up in soot, their hair was pushed back behind them, comically frozen with every hair sticking straight out of their head away from the blast site.

Jay frowned, they messed up his chance to work with Double-N and could have gotten her hurt! Why couldn't they just do the assignment like they were supposed to instead of fooling around?

Anny's shout captured Tee's attention, after all, his girl was almost as exposed as the ones in his anatomy book, he quickly closed it and trapped Larie's nose within it's pages. Larie scowled at his red headed brother as he yanked his nose free and readied himself to swing the book and smack Tee into the wall with it, only to see his brother smirking eagerly at Anny as she began wiping at the soot on her arms, murmuring irritably as she did so, Larie looked and saw that An's shirt was in shreds and she was covered in soot too, he quickly glanced at Double-N, who looked back at her friends with a worried expression and too his surprise, he saw Jay next to her.

Why was Jay with Double-N when An was almost half naked and possibly hurt? And why was he just standing there instead of checking on An, that's when Larie realized that, instead of looking worried about An, he looked _angry_ with her.

"STUPID!" he shouted at them, his face pulled into an irritated expression and his body hunched over as if he was about to leap towards them like a wild animal and beat them to a pulp, catching all three Ans and his brothers offguard, then straightened as he held out his arms, "DON'T YOU KNOW NEVER TO MIX BERIC OXIDE WITH AN AQUEOUS SUSPENSION?" he yelled, as if An or Anny knew what beric oxide or an aqueous suspension was. (Author: they didn't. I don't either)

An, Anny, Tee, Larie, Jenny and Plankette stared at Jay for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck he was saying, no one noticing the fairies slipping into the classroom, ready to stir up more trouble.

Double-N looked at him, her eyes wide with shock, astounded by his sudden increase in intellect, heck, she was astounded that he used those words correctly in a sentence, "Jay?" she managed, her jaw a little slack from surprise that Jay Kanker not only managed to evaluate what An and Anny had done wrong, but that he was actually scolding them for it, "I'd never seen that side of you." She said, truly meaning it.

She was so confused as to what was going on with Jay, yesterday he thought if he mixed a random clear chemical and a red chemical, he'd make a love potion (because he knew red and white made pink and he figured that a pink chemical _had_ to be a love potion) instead of making a stink bomb that made everyone but An dash for the window, gasping for breath, and today he seemed to know not only names of certain chemicals, but not to mix them with.

Jay smiled, pleased that he had impressed her as he began floating in the air again, leaning over her and making her bend over backwards to keep him out of her personal space, his hands over his heart and his eyes big and pink while her arms were locked at her sides and her eyes wide with confusion and fear as she backed away.

He landed inches from her, making her nearly fall backwards onto the floor as he smiled, "I've developed a _mean_ bathroom deodorizer too!" he informed her, eagerly awaiting to hear her praise for his good work.

Larie felt as if he was in a bad dream, what was going on here? First Jay grows a brain and now... Was _his_ _brother__** hitting**_on _**his**__** Ann**_?

Double-N scurried around him and scrambled backwards towards the exit, "Well, perhaps this is a conversation best had in a very public area, yes?" she said quickly as another heart shaped arrow head struck her in the rear.

A sharp pain registered in her behind as her whole body suddenly twisted and spun in ways it shouldn't have, as if someone was wringing her dry, Larie and Jay watched her, Larie concerned, Jay as if this was normal, then again, now that Larie noticed, Jay's eyes were pink and he was hovering off the ground.

That sure as heck wasn't normal.

'What the heck is going on?' he wanted to scream as he tugged at his hair, he stopped as Double-N finally unwound herself, her own eyes pink now too. Larie got a bad feeling about those pink eyes, her eyes weren't pink before the explosion! He paused, had Jay's been pink before the blast? Larie strained his brain to remember, but he'd had his head stuck in Tee's anatomy book when Jay had come into the classroom, he had no idea, but still, something was up here.

Double-N felt her heart race at the sight of Jay, she had no idea why she hadn't seen what a perfect match they'd make before, probably because he'd never proven himself an intellectual equal, but still, he was one of the sweetest boys in school and was pretty cute now that she looked at him.

Double-N and Jay both sighed happily and stared at each other like dead fish for a bit, their eyes pink and with big smiles on their faces. Larie didn't like the way they looked at each other, it made his whole body fill with unbridled rage and loads of jealousy, although there was no way…Nuh uh, _no way _that they could like each other…

…_Right_?

Unseen by everyone (but the Author, but she was kinda somewhere else at that moment), the fairies chuckled as they circled the love birds that they had forced to fall for one another, Jamie grabbed Double-N by the back of her lab coat and pulled her up, which was easier since Double-N was kinda floating in the air already, so Jamie didn't really have to put as much effort forth to do so. "Now that Double-N's been stricken by Cupid's will…" she began. Sam scooped up Jay by the collar of his shirt and replied cheerfully with, "Ever shall a note be written!" he then slipped a piece of paper and a pencil to Jay, "The plot gets thicker still!" he announced. They then laugh again and fly in opposite directions, dragging the love birds apart.

.

.

.

The Author, who managed to slip away from the teachers by climbing up on top of a row of lockers, sits there and pants quietly as the bell for second period rings. Nate, Karen and Rachel file from a classroom not to far from the row of lockers she's sitting on, they then walk up to her, making her silently pray that they not notice her. Lucky for her they don't, they simply walk to their lockers and open them, leaving the author to wonder why the heck there are so many lockers in this school when there are only twelve students that go here. Which then makes her wonder how the heck the teacher could think she was a student here in the first place when she looks nothing like any of the twelve kids that come to school here almost everyday.

Then she sees Fairy Sam sly past as the three kids in front of them bend over to gather their belongings from their lockers, pushing a floating Jay past the hallway, giggling, making a trail of pink sparkly dust behind them, Sam sees the Author and sticks his tongue out at her before pushing him out of view, laughing that she can't get down and pummel him without being caught by the teachers.

"Friggin' fairy!" the Author growls, shaking her fist at it, "When I stop being hunted down by teachers, I'm gonna write how you and your little girlfriend will get _such_ a _beating_!" she hissed.

Rachel stands up straight, looking concerned and a little annoyed, the Author quickly lies down so it's harder to see her, thinking she had just gave her position away, but instead, Rachel's hair starts standing up in the air, chunk by chunk, as if someone had just rubbed a balloon on her head. Rachel angrily turned to Nate and Karen, "AGAIN!" she shouts, obviously ticked off that her day has been interrupted by the little flying pests. Nate was grabbing his gym clothes that he had put in a cloth grocery bag from his locker and Karen pulled a grey sweatshirt that she then pulled over her head, both of them looking at their foreign friend, concerned, as Rachel crossed her arms and cried out, "THESE MOUNTAIN IMPS WILL BOTHER RACHEL _**NO MORE!**_" she threw her arms out as she made this declaration that made the Author have to bite her lip to stifle a chuckle, 'Man are those fairies in for it now!' the Author thought wickedly as she watched Rachel angrily glance from side to side, Karen just smiled and said, "You're _cracked_, dude!" then chuckled as she closed her locker door, Nate smiled at Karen's words, but didn't laugh. Whatever Rachel was talking about was really bothering her and although he had no idea what the heck she was talking about, he had a feeling that she might get mad if he laughed.

Double-N floated past them on the other side of the hallway, Jamie cheerfully fluttering behind her and giving the Author a raspberry before realizing that Double-N was ahead of her and that she needed to catch up with her.

The author smiled, "Oh, oh you'll get yours, alright, you little flying freaks." She purred, "You'll get yours."


	4. Lockers and Love Notes

Larie and Tee walked towards the gym, their gym clothes in a bag over their shoulders.

Now, normally, Larie found solace in gym class, it was one of the few places he could run around like crazy or smack a kid in the face with a dodgeball without getting into trouble. But today, not even the only class he actually liked could tame his tangled and troubled thoughts.

"What do ya think all that was about with Jay sucking up to Double-N earlier in science class?" he asked Tee, desperately hoping that his older brother might make him feel better. Tee shrugged, "I dunno, maybe he was asking her for help with something, your girl is the smartest kid in school and Jay's about as bright as a broken light bulb." Tee reasoned.

"I don't think so." He replied with a shake of his head, his fists clenched involuntarily as he went on to explain that, "it kinda looked like he was _flirting_ with her." Larie said in an slightly angry tone, clenching his fists at the thought of his younger brother making a move on _his_ girlfriend.

Tee looked at him, stunned he'd even suggest that their younger brother would try to flirt with his girl, "Jay knows better then to flirt with your An, or mine for that matter, he's stupid but he's not _that_ stupid. He knows that Double-N is _yours_ and _yours alone._ Besides, he's so in 'love'" he gagged at the word, although the gagging wasn't out of disgust for the emotion, but for the word that was associated with it, it was so over used and seemed so fake to them, the brothers preferred to show how much they liked their Ans with actions, not words, they spoke louder and were more fun for them. "with An that he'd never look at your girl like that. You know Jay, he's a softie, but he's loyal."

Larie nodded, but his brothers words did little to actually assure him that Jay wasn't hitting on Double-N.

Larie knew what he had seen, he had seen his brother and his girl making goo-goo eyes at each other and he didn't like it. Then again, he didn't like it when _any_ guy made goo-goo eyes at or flirted with Double-N. Everytime he saw a guy try to make a move on her (Author: he means Nate and a few random local boys that would hang out by the candy shop in the summer time that would hit on any girls that came up, mainly girls from the cul-de-sac), he felt a surge of unquellable rage and would go berserk on the guy…

But this wasn't just some guy, this was his little brother… and as much as the brothers picked on one another and fought, they hardly ever really meant it. They were brothers, they were bonded by blood, no matter how frustrating they could be or angry they could get at one another, they still really actually cared about each other.

They just didn't show it like they would on a dramatic TV special.

And, unlike the other times, where Double-N would be surprised or uncomfortable with the other guy's attention, she seemed to be _actually _okay with Jay's attention and actually seemed to have been looking at him lovingly back.

Larie didn't know what to do, he felt so frustrated and hurt and confused as Tee opened the door to the gym and they walked through it, he then noticed their younger brother floating past them into the gym with a loving sigh, his eyes still pink and a big, happy smile on his face that Larie resisted the urge to smack off.

Larie didn't like those pink eyes of his, he had no idea how he got them, but he knew that they meant trouble, for both Jay _and_ Double-N. He wondered if that explosion released something that caused them to both think that the other was their boyfriend/girlfriend and was just gonna wear off, but he had no idea what An and Anny had been playing with, then again they probably hadn't either, unlike his girl, his brothers' girlfriends were not all that bright.

Then another thought came to him, causing him to push the chemical catastrophe theory of his into a corner of his mind, "You think Jay might have bombed this morning by trying to win An over with that stupid card and asked Double-N to help him make An jealous so he could still have a chance to have her as his valentine?" he asked Tee. Tee considered this a moment, scratching his chin, "It's possible," he said, "I mean, that card _was_ pretty bad and Double-N is a pretty helpful gal, she might just be putting on an act to help him out with his An. But I'm not sure if Jay's smart enough to have come up with that plan all by himself. Maybe Double-N suggested it."

"Why would she do that?" Larie demanded, furious at the idea that she would purposefully make him jealous like this.

"Well, unlike Jay and me, you're not really all that gentle with your girl, and out of all three of them, she's the most delicate, maybe she wants you to be more gentle so she came up with that plan to get both you and An jealous, and since Jay's the gentlest one out of all of us as well as your brother, you can't just beat him up, so you have to try gettin' her back without using force. Ya know? Attracting butterflies with honey and not baking soda or something like that."

Larie thought about it, Tee had a point, Larie could be pretty aggressive with his Ann, but that was because he lost all self-control whenever he was in close proximity with her, that was just the way he was, he thought she understood that…

Although… earlier that week he had surprised her by tacking her by her locker to give her some lovin' and accidently smacked her arm really hard into her locker door, leaving a large red mark on her arm and making her yelp with pain and tears begin to form in her eyes. He had apologized profusely and had taken her to the nurse's office immediately, and she had said she was okay… but…

He pouted and rubbed his arm guiltily when he remembered seeing the large, reddish purple bruise she had gotten from that incident in science class earlier, it looked like it still really hurt, and she _had _been crying a little bit.

Even though he felt awful about it and would _never_ hurt her on purpose, he guessed that maybe he just could tone it down a_ little_ bit, just so things like that wouldn't happen anymore or at least not as much. It was probably hard to enjoy your boyfriend's kisses when you'd get bruises from his surprise hugs (Author: yet the hickey bruises are _not _an issue here).

"Okay, so just be gentler to her, got it." Larie said with a nod, letting a small smile crawl up his cheeks, trying to convince himself that Tee was right, that they were just trying to make An and Larie a little jealous so they would learn a lesson, but deep down, he had a feeling that Tee was wrong. But he couldn't bear to think how much it would hurt if the love of his life was crushing on his little brother. That would probably break his heart into a million pieces and even maybe make him… _cry_.

Larie shook off the thought and pushed the bad feeling into the corner of his mind as he and Tee walked into the boys locker room and started changing for gym.

Larie focused his mind and repeated the same thing over and over again as he changed into his gym clothes, trying to convince himself that there was nothing between the brainy An and the bucktoothed Kanker:

"Double-N is _mine_.

Jay is _An's_.

That is all there is to it."

At least, he hoped so.

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Double-N floated happily to her locker, An and Anny not to far behind her, her fingers gently grasping the numbers on her combo lock, her unseen fairy companion nowhere in sight, most likely fluttering around the school causing mischief…

.

Meanwhile…

"Ha ha! You can't get us!" Sam taunted as the Author snarls at him, angry that she can't swat at him and crush him against the side of the locker she's crouched on and smush him like the bug he is without letting all the teachers, who pace up and down the hallway below her like hungry sharks near a wounded seal, know where she is and get herself caught. She briefly considers throwing some of the massive amount of trash that was on top of the lockers at the fairies, (which frankly concerned her that there was even trash up there) but even if she did manage to hit them, she would still be giving herself away. She glares down at a fishbone and an apple core on either side of her, wishing she could throw it at them.

Jamie simply hovers in the air besides Sam and laughs at the girl's predicament.

"You two are so _dead!_" the Author hisses with her fists clenched. "You hear me?" she demanded, banging the locker below her with her fists "_**DEAD!**_" She then paused as the teachers all looked up at her, realizing that banging her fists on the locker was probably _not_ the smartest move when trying to hide from a mob of angry teachers.

She bit her lip and looked at the dark glares from below.

"_Uh oh_…"

.

Double-N almost finished spinning the last number, when she spots a sheet of paper sticking out of one of the slits in the door, she gently tugs it free, a loving smile on her face when she sees the red hand drawn heart on the paper, she then quickly turns it over, pink eyes wide with excitement at her first homemade valentine given to her from a boy she liked, her whole body floating so it she could read it as if she was lying down on her stomach, her feet swinging in the air as she read what was on the back, one hand holding the note and the other over her racing heart.

"To: My sweet Lambchop, Won't you be my Valentine? Love: Jay." She read aloud with a big smile on her face, finishing with a longing sigh and hugging the paper to her chest and sunk against her locker, feeling light as air, even though she was no longer hovering, her hand falling limply to her side, looking so blissful and happy.

The note was hand written, a picture of her face besides the word 'lambchop', the word 'be' was spelled as just the letter 'B', which would normally drive Double-N up a wall, but today Double-N wasn't exactly her normal self, so she let it slide. Above the words 'Love Jay' were the letters "XOXO" and there were pink hearts on the bottom of the card.

Her friends turned to her, confused for a moment. Why would _Jay Kanker_, who everyone knew was _crazy_ about An, slip a gushy Valentine into _Double-N's_ locker?

Then the answer hit Anny like a ton of bricks, she leapt into the air with a loud laugh, making An stiffen with surprise as Anny grabbed her face and pulled her towards the smitten and slouching Double-N, laughing, "Jay is _so __**stupid**_!" she then snatched the Valentine from her infatuated friend's hands and held the note up for An to read, "He put _**your**_ valentine in _**Double-N's**_ locker!" she laughed, amused by his assumed mix up, and waiting so she could then be amused by An's reaction to the news that Jay wrote her another Valentine.

Although, deep down, Anny had to give Jay some credit, An _literally_ stomped all over his heart (and other body parts) when she rejected his first Valentine, granted, she couldn't see and probably wouldn't have run over him if she didn't have a bag over her head blocking her view, but still, it had probably really hurt, and yet he still didn't give up on trying to show that he cared. That took a lot of courage and dedication to even try to give An the first one, the fact that he made her a second one was almost kinda sweet…

For a Kanker.

Then Anny's more cynical side kicked in, the Kankers followed the Ans around, pinned them to the ground and covered them with hickeys, they ruined their scams when they were actually successful and were basically stalkers who were obsessed with her and her friends, nothing more, nothing less. An had said no to his first Valentine, the fact that he had made a second one for her was almost borderline harassment. No meant no. The fact that he managed to mess up by putting An's second valentine in Double-N's locker? _That _was just borderline _hilarious_.

After a moment to process what Anny had just said and to read the Valentine she had just snatched from Double-N, An leapt into the air, disgusted, "_**YUCK! MUSHY**_!" she cried as she spun her arms like a pinwheel, as if hoping to fly away from the sheet of paper, only to crash head first into the ground, resembling an ostrich with her head in a hole in the ground and her fanny in the air, her head now in the boiler room in the school's basement. Anny laughed and pulled her upper lip out a bit, took two text books and shoved them inside of her pulled upper lip, leaving them hanging from her mouth (make-shift buckteeth) as she batted her eyelashes.

"Oh An!" she called, her voice muffled and sounding a little more nasally by the books in her mouth. She waved the paper around, making a derp face and cried out "It's me, Jay Kanker!" she then skipped around the hallway, letting the valentine wave in the breeze behind her, trying not to laugh too hard as she then asked, "Won't you be my Valentine?" and skipped around a bit more before hopping onto An's rump, chuckling at her impression of Jay.

An scowled at Anny from the boiler room and looked down at her friends (or up since her head was hanging down from the ceiling), "That's not funny, Anny!" she said sternly.

An didn't like the fact that Jay was all over her all the time, and the fact that he kept sending her these cards made her feel a little annoyed. She was no expert on relationships, but she did know that in a romantic relationship, like what Jay claimed they were in, both people were heard out and their wishes were respected. An would be bawling like a baby, begging him to stop and leave her alone, only for him to ignore her pleas and continue covering her with hickeys. In a relationship, no means no, crying and pleading for him to stop also meant no, and 'NO KISSES FOR AN' also meant no.

But, while An didn't really like Jay, she knew it wasn't very nice to make fun of him for asking to be her valentine, since he normally never asked her permission to act all, _uggh, __**mushy**_ towards her before, at least he was asking this time instead of just attacking her. An also had a feeling that Anny was probably making fun of Jay's buckteeth while she was mocking him, which was also not nice, he couldn't help having buckteeth and his family probably couldn't afford getting him braces to fix them. It wasn't nice to make fun of something that he could do nothing about.

But, despite her scolding Anny, she still_ feared_ Jay's shows of adoration, after all, they usually ended up with her being pinned down or climbed on and covered with unwanted hickeys, and those were no fun and _definitely_ not humorous in anyway, (Author: pfttttttt… maybe not to you.) but she still didn't think it was nice to make fun of him just for liking her and having bad teeth.

Anny frowned, annoyed and puffed up her chest with anger as she stood on An's rump, "Aah, what are you scared of?" Anny asked irritably as she spat out her books, dismissing An's declaration in Jay's defense as her finding a stupid crummy valentine from Jay Kanker meaning she was going to be infected with cooties or something if she got too close to it or something and that this was a serious issue and concern.

She walked over to the nearby trashcan, annoyed that An had to be such a scaredy cat when it came to boys. She was stronger then anyone else here, yet she was too scared to even _try_ to defend herself when Jay came for unwanted kisses or Sam wanted to beat the snot out of her because he got annoyed with her. If she wanted, she could crush them both to a pulp and make sure they never messed with her again, but An was _way_ too gentle and kind to do something like that. But _still, _she was even a little scared of _Nate_, one of the few people who hardly ever beat them up, and she had a _crush_ on him.

"Boys don't bite, _stupid_." Anny scoffed, crumpling up the Valentine and tossing it into the trashcan, finally catching Double-N's attention as she watched her heart-felt Valentine spiral into the trash can. "They just cover ya in hickeys until you can get a restraining order." She said flatly, smirking that she managed to get the balled up paper into the bin without missing it.

The bell rang, so An and Anny quickly scooped up their gym bags (a green odor leaking out of An's) began walking to gym class, but Double-N stood there, stunned and shocked that Anny would do throw out _her_ special valentine!

Although she could see how Anny might mistake it for one Jay made for An (after all, Jay had tried giving one to her a little while ago)and stuck in the wrong locker, that was _not_ the case here!

He _hadn't_ stuck it into the wrong locker, he had made it especially for _her_ and Anny had crumpled it up and tossed it into the garbage can as if it was just junk!

She had to get it back! She dashed to the trashcan, luckily nothing liquid had been thrown out in here, so it didn't smudge or get ruined… but _still_ it was in the _trash_, who knows what could be in there…but Jay had made that valentine just for her and he'd be crushed if he found it in the trash, he might even get upset with her and think she didn't return his feelings…

Double-N was torn, she could dig through the trash to get it back, contaminating herself with who knows what, or she could leave her precious Valentine from Jay in the garbage to ferment in… _whatever_ was in there or what _would_ be put in there later and risk him finding it there and breaking both of their hearts. Double-N took a deep breath, and without gloves or any kind of protection from whatever horrors sat in that metal can before her, dove into the trashcan to find, then save her valentine from further destruction.

An and Anny looked back to call for their brainy friend, only to see her…

_Digging… in the __**garbage**__?_

What gives?

Anny and An watched, Anny annoyed while An looked confused by Double-N's actions. She was the biggest germ-a-phobe and Neat Freak in Peach Creek for crying out loud, what was she doing digging around in the trash?

Anny scowled, then looked to An, putting her arm around her neck and pointing at their trash tunneling friend, "Look at her!" Anny cried, irritated as she watched her friend's lower half sticking out of the trash can, her feet wiggling as she crawled deeper inside, "Not only is she the_ teacher's_ pet, but now she's kissing up to the _janitor_!" she then scowled and snapped, "Come on! We're gonna be late for class, Double-N!" but Double-N continued to dig through the trash, this behavior was uncommon and unusual but Karen was not only the hall monitor, but also the gym assistant, so if they were late, they were gonna be looking at the wrong end of a dodgeball.

And no An wanted that.

Anny gently smacked An on the back of her head, snapping her out of whatever fantasy she was engrossed in and getting her attention, "An." Anny said firmly, then pointed to Double-N, "Fetch." She commanded.

It took a moment for the command to sink in. Then An began to laugh as she walked over and scooped her brainy friend out of the trash, just when she had finally found her valentine from Jay and was snuggling it against her face, and tossed her over her shoulder while Anny quickly spun Double-N's locker combo and yanked her gym clothes out of it and slammed the door shut. An then walked over with Double-N over her shoulder, smiling vividly with her tongue lolling out of her mouth like a dog while Double-N was carefully smoothing out the paper in her hands, Anny slipped her friend's satchel off her shoulder and put it into her locker before slamming it shut and scratching her tall, dopey friend behind the ears, "Good girl, An." she said, making An smile proudly, pleased that she had done well.

Anny then raced towards the gym, holding Double-N's gym bag in one hand and swinging her own gym bag around with the other, letting out a 'WOOHOO!' as she rammed into the door with her side, entering the gym with An close behind, laughing with Double-N over her shoulder, not taking notice that the door closed on the brainy An's stomach and was making An accidently stretch her out like a rubberband with her upperbody still outside the gym.

Double-N hadn't really noticed either, she was too enthralled by her Valentine from Jay. She sighed longingly at the card and snuggled it to her chest, "Turtledove, to whence we meet again." She said softly. She then slipped the card into her hat as she flung into the gym and smacked into her friend. Anny barely managed to stifle a chuckle as she helped her friends up and the three of them walked into the girl's changing room.

Then the Author slipped through the gym doors, panting heavily as she leaned against the double doors, the sound of thundering teachers trampling towards her made her freeze, holding her breath.

"She has to be here somewhere, we'll split up!" one teacher said, "Someone go check the gym!" The Author stiffened and wildly looked back and forth, she had barely managed to escape by using the teacher's heads as stepping stones and pushing them hard enough with her legs to send them crashing into the lockers before hopping down and running for the gym. She suddenly smiled as she noticed that they had left the risers down and dashed towards it, quickly running underneath it to hide and praying that the teachers didn't find her. She panted as quietly as she could, only stopping to hold her breathe once when the teacher who came to check the gym had come close enough to her hiding spot, but the teacher quickly glanced around, scratched his head, shrugged, then walked towards the girl's locker room and went inside…

Only to be kicked out with Anny and Karen screaming, "GET _OUT_! THIS IS THE _**GIRLS**_LOCKER ROOM! _**GET OUT**_!" with giant rolls of toilet paper flying out of the doorway at the teacher as he fled the open door.

The Author bit back a chuckle as the teacher went inside the boys locker room, only for him to run out the locker room and out of the gym, Tee and Larie cackling from inside, the Author making a mental note to thank them in some shape or form later as she finally allowed herself to relax for a moment.

She was safe, for now.

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Author's End Note for this Chapter: Hey guys, sorry this is late, but here's chapter four of Hanky Panky!

This is a message to all readers and fans, I am inviting anyone who would like to come, to watch my revenge against the fairies later on (as in I will have a bunch of people from FF standing with me, enjoying the sweet taste of victory), I have Wolfang21 filming it and I need someone to bring popcorn and someone to bring sodas and someone to bring chairs, etc. Let me know if you're coming in the reviews and what you want to bring and I'll PM you for a basic description of yourself and put you in there.

Also, if anyone is interested in helping me TP the teachers' houses after I make sure everything is back to normal, please let me know in the reviews as well and I'll send you a PM asking for a basic description to put in that chapter.

If you can't do that on this site for either, you can send me a note on deviant art (my user name there is lolzwaitwhat too) or tell me that, we'll figure something out, okay?

Also, someone asked if seeing the fairies was something to be concerned about, it is, they shouldn't be there, crush them with a dirty wet mop. If they haven't poofed away yet, I'll ask Rachel what you should do next.


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